Q: Why did you decide to join Tumblr?
A: I was going through A ROUGH PHASE in my life in which I desperately wanted to interact with people LIKE ME. Naturally, having found the largest congregation of profoundly unoriginal people on Tumblr, I feel very much at home.
Q: Why aren’t you on Facebook?
A: One day, I decided to just STOP being jealous of my happier, hotter schoolmates, and start being jealous of the inhumanly gorgeous male models on Tumblr instead.
Q: What are your top 3 favourite songs?
A: 1. Any of Katy Perry’s wildly brainless exercises in electro-pop trashiness
2. I Guess I Just Wasn’t Made For These Times - The Beach Boys
3. Rudie Can’t Fail - The Clash
Q: What is your deepest, darkest desire?
A: Bela Lugosi reading Bill Murray’s lines from Lost In Translation. Then farting into a chocolate cake. Yum.
Q: Why are you so fervently anti-American even though you’re attending university there in a month?
A: Because the USA is responsible for producing Justin Bieber, who is a Canadian.
Q: How would you describe your humor?
A: Ben Affleck, but with a slightly darker SKIN TONE.